Get your dick out' tha peanut butter jar

ey

2006-09-22T01:21:44Z

whats a livejournal?

ive been meaning to write here for a while. i lost touch with the whole journal aspect. i actually started enjoying my social life again a little bit, and hating it at the same time. when i was back in pittsburgh, before i left... i noticed i was detaining myself away from everyone and generally being all depressed. all i did was play video games and go out for beer. i totally seperated myself from the people i loved most. i miss my friends in pittsburgh hard. i pretty much do the same shit down here except for seperating myself. i dont really get to meet anyone new though.

i cant really figure out why i cant walk up and talk to new people. i have no problem if im in a group, or if i just meet the person. socially though, im retarded. i saw a really hot girl today at the supermarket. i should have just said hi, but my eyes dart to the floor instead. i want to kick my own ass so bad nowadays. im not getting any fucking younger, and my options arent getting any broader.

why can't someone just talk to me first?
is it so hard to ask for someone to make ME feel like a good person every here and there?

aside from that inane bullshit -
i hung out with my ex girlfriend trish a few weeks ago
i shipped my first console game
i started working on Dead Head Fred
i finished a cartoon of my friend carey, and his wife to be, amy - a week or three ago - i'm also in the wedding.
i bought a nintendo ds and entirely too many games for it

i'm getting a massage at work tomorrow, accompanied by a paycheck and a bonus check
my side hurts really bad. i just farted, and im about to leave my apartment to go drink blue moon and play some video games.
good eve.

frankies fun park

2006-08-08T05:23:37Z

my work loves us, so they gave us a half day last friday and took us to frankies fun park.

3 words, OILED GOKART TRACK.

it was like mario kart in real life. i powerslid all over that bitch.
highlights:
- managed to pull the PIT maneuver on my friend geoff
- having my friend abe's wife yell at me for cheating. "rubbing is racing."
- the gayest zoolander recreation ever in bumper boats (think "wake me up before you go go"
- shooting john in the eye in said bumper boats.
- rocking some tekken 5 in the arcade against friends
- geoff using tickets to buy prank shock pen, and hitting me in the nipple with it while wearing wet shirt and playing tekken 5
- waffle house

one of the best days ive had since ive been down here.

btw, im hoping to make it back to pittsburgh for more than 2 days in october. this past visit was too short.

pittsburgh

2006-07-27T06:30:51Z

was bawesome. pictures to come.

chapel hill, nc

2006-04-25T04:56:36Z

so its been about forever and a day since i updated, and for good reason. i moved down to chapel hill because i got a badass job at this gaming company called vicious cycle. i can honestly say, even though ive been pulling like 14 hour days, its been entirely better than i could have expected. aside from the normal runaround stuff of game art, like everything being really technical, and the learning curve of the new engine - work is fucking awesome. i cant really talk much at all about anything im working on, as it could endanger the project(s). the 14 hour days is a result of "crunch time" because e3 is coming up really soon. its cool, because theres plenty of stuff to do at work if you need a break. we got a kick ass pool table, basketball hoops, vintage arcade machines, a fountain soda machine, a huge pond with turtles to feed, and not to mention the most badass computer that ive ever used. (dual processor, dual video card, dual joygasm)

living in the south is pretty sweet. its always warm, the girls are excellent looking, and everything i need is really close to my house. its kind of a-suck that i dont get to see my pittsburgh friends on a daily basis, but im not without friends down here. i got my boy geoff, and my boy spencer, plus other people at work who are really badass. living alone hasnt even really had a chance to get to me yet at all. im always busy, out late, or at work late, so i dont really get to be at home so often. i think the most i cooked so far was maybe some hotdogs and some noodles - not together. i still have boxes waiting to be unpacked, and i dont think ive been in my house much more than sleep..but i love it. i dont get harped on, im my own boss.

im going to try to get a digital camera in a paycheck or two, so ill try to post some pictures so you all know im alive, and awesome.

ed's liver vs the day

2006-03-13T21:50:50Z

the st pattys day parade was pretty epic. i didnt get absolutely shit hosed before 8 am this year, and im pretty happy about that. julie and chrissy met me at my house and our journey began. we waited at the bus stop for a good 10 or 15 and the bus came. the bus was already pretty fucking packed. julie and chrissy caught a seat towards the back of the bus, and i stood nearby them because im cool like that and good enough to give up my seat.

well, to cut a long story short here, our bus was routed through another town. it was sardine fucking jam packed. people sitting on people, absolutely no moving room whatsoever. its officially the party bus at this point. some cockbag two people in front of me sparks a joint, the girl behind me is passing out beers. she gave me one (woot) i mean, i had to take a swig or two from my flask to make things better. =P

anyway, on with our adventure. people flow out of the bus like carp over a dam. we make our way to the opposite side of town for some eats and to check out the parade. after being there briefly, we go to market square to meet up with mark and gina. market square is absolute fucking pandemonium. live bands, port o johns, drunken sluts...i call this place "home".
anyway, we come to mark and he's about a half an hour into a line for the bathroom. he isnt happy. he forms a drunken alliance with some kid at the front of the line to eliminate "line snipers". ps, i cut in line behind mark. hahaha..
so we're waiting in line for a while, some skank stumbles up to me and i give her the hairy eyeball. just because a girl has juggs doesnt mean im going to be nice to her. she attempts to make nice and asks to skip up. five bucks. five bucks is your cost young trollip. i got three out of the deal. she was pissed, but she got to go to the bathroom ahead of me. =D
some other girl tried cutting up in front of me with a body thrown together like a bowling ball on a bad day. one was enough, and she totally didnt offer me money. fuck you, bowling ball.

after the bathroom escapade, julie fucking ninja-vanished. she was trying to find another line i suppose. i eventually got ahold of her because i didnt want her to get eaten by drunken ire. she's a teeny cute little thing. i dont think she can deal with that. =P

anyway, through texts and message errors we all met back up, and made our way to another clusterfuck known as "station square" a few yards of beer later, i saw dez, justine, and some random kid who had no semblance of green on his being. he looked like the equivalent of a ballerina at an black panther convention. Abercrombie vs the green horde. who will win?!

after hanging out for a while, things got a little hazy, and we all went to the sesame inn for chinese food. mark and gina met us there, so we sat like 5 ppl at a three person table. we all watched chrissy eat hot peppers from my kung pow chicken and waited for her face to immolate. so that was pretty cool.

dave hooked us up with a ride because hes a kind soul, and we all hit a bar afterwards. everyone got dropped off at my house and parted ways. dave and i decided we werent done, so we went out to a few other places in bloomfield. after such a long day, and so much drinking, ill give you a dollar if you can guess what we talked about. ethics. medical ethics, mortality, and books. you didnt see that coming did you? good talk though. ...and then we did jager bombs.

artmonkeyed @ 2006-03-06T12:14:00

2006-03-06T17:34:45Z

this has probably been the most stressful time in my life in recent memory.

yes, i got my job. yes, i'm happy.

-but-

my mother is going flipshit crazy, running up the walls worrying about me getting shit done. probably about half of my belongings are already packed in boxes and im only moving at the end of the month. I have known I had this job since approximately Thursday. before i even got out of the shower this morning, she had my brother on the phone, trying to get me to discuss my budget with him. we pretty much just bs'ed, and he was like "wow, mom is really flipping out. you should try talking to her and calming her down. she's kind of putting the cart before the horse."

the calming her down went something like this.
ed-"mom, you should calm down. you're making this more stressful than this has to be"
mom-"fine! ill just butt out then. ignore me! i'll mind my own business!"
e-"okay...now you're acting like a kindergartener. why dont you talk to me?"
m-"you always wait till the last minute. you'd never get anything done..." ad nauseum

saturday i called an apartment plan to look at, or just discuss looking at some places. this morning, she had already called, talked to, and requested i talk to someone. instead of leaving for work, i was demanded to "wait until he calls".
this made me want to put a llama in a fucking headlock. so i called the guy up instead because i didnt feel like waiting. the guy was a dunce. of course. i was talking to him about viewing an apartment, and told how i had to work two weeks yet before i could even get down there. i kid you not, the very next sentence he asked me if i could come down mid week, the upcoming week. for one, it sends me up the fucking wall when people dont listen to me. im generally well versed and i dont talk out my ass. for two, it's this eunich's job to figure this shit out..and it sounds like he should be better placed wearing a helmet in a warm kiddie pool.

pretty much all fucking weekend i'd been stewing about turning in my letter of resignation. my boss is a good guy, but i didnt really expect the best reply since im the best, and longest standing artist we have in this place.

i turned it in, said my piece, he asked why. i told him that i got a really good job offer and i couldnt turn it down. he said he understood and you have to do what you have to do. i dont even think hes really going to look at the letter. that was waaaaaaaaay easier than what i pictured happening. he just asked me to find new interns.

interns are a whole different beast. finding new interns is like asking someone to plunge their fist into a cactus and pull out a diamond. normally we go through the art institute. i leave messages, nobody ever calls back. the only way you can get any interns is by physically going to an art institute graduation and talking to the people directly. the career services of the art institute is completely gimped. they dont send out student work except for the quarter you graduate (2-3 months later) and they dont generally give a flying shit.

in other news, guitar hero is the best game ever. go drink and play it with friends.

the hard part

2006-03-02T19:48:25Z

so, i got the job. i took an art test last night and i fucking crushed it like a ming vase underneath a sumo wrestler.
i was given no longer than 6 hours for the test, and i did it in roughly three. blam.

they set my start date for like the 27th, and i havent even told my mom yet. i have to find an apartment. i gotta buy supplies. i have to get ready to move! I HAVE TO THROW A FUCKING PARTY!

the kicker is that we're starting a lot of newer art here at egenesis. I'm expected to spearhead it i assume. i have to be the asshole and break it to my boss that IM OUT MUDDAFUGGA! with no bragging, i say that this company is going to be slightly in trouble without me. i really feel bad about that.

right now, it hasnt even hit me yet. im still slightly confused, yet happy.

heres to some fresh new life. heres to hoping i made the right decision.

north carolina, part one billion

2006-02-28T18:20:55Z

so i went to NC this past weekend to visit my boy geoff...and to have a JOB INTERVIEW.

as a lot of you know, i have been hermiting pretty much everything about my existence for the past few weeks. why? just prepping.

i think i spent close to a week modeling, texturing, and such on my gun.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a324/brennan223/art/gun1.jpg

i waited all fucking day for my flight. you're supposed to get there like...what, two hours early max? i got up early and went to primantis with bill, and then there was nothing to do. my flight was at 3:40, i was there at 12. lets fast forward a little bit to after my flight got delayed twice, i went through two magazines, and i developed hemmorhoids.
i flew on a plane that had propellors. FUCKING PROPELLORS! it was cool though. smooth flight. i talked to some dude from chicago the whole way down. we talked about dogs, and about how his dog killed the old neighbor lady's dog and they had to bury it secret style. and never told her. thats fucking deep right there. nice guy, but i bet he'd cut people.

when i was down there, it was pretty crazy. the raleigh airport is all dinky. they have a shit ton more security than pittsburgh though, ill give them that. i took a cab to my friend geoff's house, and i got to meet his girl elisabeth and like three people he works with immediately. they were all really cool. we drank some beers and threw down on some soul calibur. for the first time ever, ed gets the fucking whoop put on him in a fighting game. mark it.
i finished up some last minute work, and watched shaun of the dead till i zonked out on the couch.

in the morning, i got all fancied up for my interview and for the most part, was very prepared. i knew going in ahead of time that the art director wouldnt be there to interview me, (which isnt really normal practice) so i wasnt really too sure of what to expect. so they sat me down with one of the lead artists, and we talked/interviewed. then i was introduced to the art team, and they all came over to review my work. that went gravy too, except for the spitballs and feces. (jk)
i got free lunch, and then it was on to talk to el presidentes.
i met them both, and they were both cool. they were both really quiet at first, which made me kind of on edge and nervous. i started explaining my work a little bit, trying not to sound like a dick, but trying to talk up my work.
i got asked a few questions that caught me off guard at first, but i think the answers i gave were pretty sufficient. the guy didnt pull his punches either, which i did appreciate.

i caught a ride back to geoff's and met up with elisabeth and amanda. elisabeth went to do laundry, and amanda and i talked music, art, and myspace. cool cat. she demanded to be in my top 8. shes there now. go look. =0
assorted dinner, hanging out, getting really drunk and then watching a special on torrets on hbo. oh man it was so good. i felt like an asshole for laughing at some of these kids. the one kid was describing his habits and vices, all the while expressing his facial ticks. in his description - "i lick poles"

i fell right the fuck out of my chair.

the next day was pretty much awesome. i got up midafternoon, played video games, took a nap, and then we all met up with my good friend brian, his wife crystal, and their daughter kaitlin. i think the last time i saw them was like 4 years ago. long overdue yo'. pretty crazy because kaitlin remembered me and described me as "the little man with black hair" even though the last time she saw me she couldnt speak. kids are crazy. she points at everything with her middle finger too. excellent. during dinner, geoff, brian, and myself were pretty much in tears. we talked about things that would make nuns die. i hadnt laughed that hard since...well..the night before with the torrets kids. shutup.

guitar hero, sleep, cab, flight, flight, home, decompress. i got tired of writing.

right now, this entry is private. if i get the job, it will be made pube-lick.

25

2006-01-16T19:50:42Z

its a nice round number. thats how old i am now. the deuce-finster.
the birthday was pretty epic. friday was the family day, we all ate chinese, twas good. =D
saturday was the party day. i hung out with bill from like 4pm on, because i slept in nice and late. we did grocery shopping for him and his lady for a few. strange as it sounds, its really fun to go grocery shopping sometimes. actually usally only if the people are as big of a screw off as you are. pretty much any time i go into a grocery store, i run the risk of being thrown out. i remember a few weeks ago when i traveled to "the enemy" (ohio) to see jenn and jamie. we all went booze shopping and the first thing that happened was jenn clipping jamie in the ankle with the cart. it was mean, but i almost lost my shit. i yelled something like "what do you think this is, walmart!?" (thats how i act anyway, but even moreso in walmart. dont ask.) so bill and i are taking turns riding the cart down the aisle, and wasting some time until dinner.

we got back and had a drink of old grandad 114. 1/14. its the birthday, ya gotta. besides, thats like..57% alcohol. bring it sally!

dinner was at 7 out mad mex. chrissy, mark, gina, myself, andy and bill all went there to have a beer or two and eat some of the mexy type food. bill backed his leg into a cactus, and then kicked it. chrissy made me eat all of her hot sauce on my fajitas, plus whatever else was spicy and available. mark stole me a bottle of hotsauce, and bill nicked himself a glass.
it was off to sidelines for all of us.

over the course of the night, people kept buying me shots and drinks. i think it was the first time i was at the bar that i got fucked-in-half drunk and didnt have to spend a dime.

now i know what it must be like to have boobs.

my buddy dave commented that there was probably around 30 people that came to visit or stop in to say hi, and he said i should have a birthday like every saturday. the last thing i really remember from that night was heather buying me an irish carbomb.

i woke up the next day sleeping on my basement couch.
alcohol oozed from my bones.
i watched the steeler game.
i had 7 heart attacks.
all was well.
=)

Do this

2006-01-09T20:56:06Z

Saturday, January 14th
Sidelines

To see this kid:

Become this many:

And drink some of these:

Be there or be the suck.

Saturday, January 14th

2006-01-05T15:53:18Z

I'll be 25. What should I do? What sort of festivities should I plan?

virtually awesome

2005-12-29T22:12:54Z

today was fucking awesome. i went out to james' (my old art director) work (psychology tools inc). basically what they do is put together vr compilations for psychiatrists to study peoples urges and addictions. pretty much like...if you walk past a cup of coffee and a pack of smokes, you talk to the shrink and tell him your urges to do said activity. (drinking, smoking, gambling, drugs, etc) they have a pretty sweet office setup, nice computers and...*drumroll* a vr suit.

so in short, i got to wear the vr suit and record animations for their simulation this afternoon. its like one of those suits made of stretchy material and spandex. basically if you can picture it, its a suit that is super velcro compatible with a spandex crotch. no secrets. ill have pictures eventually.

so i got to be the virtual actor today. i got to be a crackhead, and a dealer. it was fucking sweet!
everything i did in real life, i saw the 3d character do. i even did the whiteman dance (forjenn).

oh my dear neglected journal

2005-12-15T20:21:57Z

i havent really used this thing lately so much as post links or bitch. for a while, i was really thinking about just deleting or sealing off the whole damn thing, leaving the whole journal thing behind. i think the problem was that there were unwanted people reading it, id catch hell, or i was just depressed in general. life has been getting better lately, and so has my outlook on a lot of things. i feel like im back on the upslope again, and life will resume on its proper course. its really shitty, because when you're bummed out, its like a fucking whirlpool of soul sucking depression surrounds you. like attracts like. its all you want. its all you deal with. its all that surrounds you.

the past few days, ive been getting reaccquainted with life. ive been going outside! its great really. i even had a dose or two of vitamin alcohol. the winter and shitty cold isnt so much bothering me even. im just happy to stop being so bitter and shitty towards everything privately. im not really so much a talker at times, not even really one to get help with my problems. i dont necessarily sweep it under the rug either. i guess i just choose to take the hard road, and bear things myself for a while. basically until im through beating myself up over things that arent my fault, or that i have no control over. its how i am, its how i live. i'd probably get rid of it if i could, at least sometimes, but then my conscience would go bubyes.

since im getting back on track, ive actually felt like drawing again. i picked up a pencil and some micron pens the other day and drew some stuff for my friend in iraq. it felt good to just sit down and draw. graphite against pressed pulpy goodness. it made me happy to know that i didnt forget how to use the core of my trade, and that i still do it better than most.

im pretty sick of working at egenesis. i'm pretty sure i want to do my own work again. im pretty sure i want to pick up my sketchbook more. im pretty sure im pretty. fuck you guys. im AM pretty, damnit! =P
wow, thats even better without the comma.
"im pretty damnit."
"pretty damnit what?"
"yeah, you know...pretty damnit."

after new years, im getting a better job. said and done.

also:
i went over bill's last night and out to walmart.
i ran around the store wearing a tree-skirt as a cape making whooshy noises. dana yelled at me. i also bought my mom this skin musk stuff for xmas..because thats what she likes. dana asked to smell it, so i handed her the package. she proceeds to sniff it and proclaims, "it smells like box." bill and i fucking died. hahahha...box.

this saturday, weather permitting because its the middle of december. ed invades ohio.

holy shit, so good

2005-12-12T22:08:37Z

allright, so if any of you know your ass from a hole in the ground...you know how awesome i think mr T is. i have his bobblehead, i have stickers, i have his old 80s a-team action figure. mr t is the patron saint of beating ass.

now read this:
http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty

heres my favorites if you're too fucking lazy-
-The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
-Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.
-Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
-Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.
-On the A-team, Face , Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

artmonkeyed @ 2005-12-12T14:54:00

2005-12-12T19:47:34Z

http://www.drawahouse.com/takethetest/

go draw a house, its fun and educational.
you'll be on jean's street, and if you hurry, you can live next to me. prime real estate suckers. =)

http://www.drawahouse.com/houses/show.asp?houseID=56135&houseHASH=88e267271850474e425a2c282b59c6c7
thats my house, and i must have skipped my own "create a street" deal.
maybe ill draw another if i get bored again later.

artmonkeyed @ 2005-12-02T13:03:00

2005-12-02T17:56:37Z

Harry Potter Meme of All Memes by Osaku
Name/Username
Age
Gender
House	Hufflepuff
Wand	Birch, 12", Dragon Heartstring
Best Course	Potions
Worst Course	History of Magic
Pet	Burmese cat
Patronus	Hawk
Quidditch Job	Keeper
Wizard Candy	Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans (Mmm! Spinach!)
Profession After School	Hogwarts Professor

Quiz created with MemeGen!

jenn made me eat those jellybeans and i didnt even flinch. mmm, bacon.

re-crap

2005-11-21T16:29:26Z

this weekend i -
1. threw up in the toilet alot
2. got yelled at and asked "why did you throw up in the toilet" by my mother. (we were going to have guests the next day)
3. replied - "would you rather me throw up somewhere else?" and got yelled at some more. seriously, if anyone wants to like give me a better idea...or like designate someone's shoe, give it up.
4. watched the steeler game sunday and relaxed.

i didnt get to see goblet of fire yet, so dont stabbinate me.

me vs the alarm

2005-11-18T17:32:13Z

my day is going well so far. i woke up late ( i hit snooze 5+ times)
in case you're wondering what that entails, it's not rolling over. its walking across the room, hitting a button, and walking back to my bed for 9 more minutes of precious sleep. why this makes a difference to me, i dont know.

no matter how i try, i cant seem to goto bed early. no matter how hard i try, i cant resist hitting that damn snooze button.

anyway, i got up, got a shower, burned 2 cds for the ride in, and im now sitting around leisurely by my space heater. =)

weekend

2005-11-17T18:54:29Z

last weekend was pretty awesome -

friday i think i went out with bill and dana for a while, bought a steelers jersey. we wound up at chili's eating a bunch of food and drinking a few beers. after all that, we watched smokey and the bandit for a while until bill was tired. after that, i met up with chrissy at sidelines where we discovered nostradamus tastes like awesome.

saturday was just a relax day.

sunday was the steeler game. i slept in till about 2 or 3, then got up and showered. pretty much as soon as i was done, everyone was arriving at my house. we headed off to the game ready as anyone ever could be. we got to the lot and started off our tailgating..laughing trading stories. they were telling me about how these douches from last year always got the spot that they were in, and always set up this huge tent to play texas hold'em. i was just like...hey, thats pretty lame. no sooner did i utter those words, and these people actually showed up. they asked us for our spot, we told them NoN! and they gave us the hairy eyeball for the whole night. they still set up their tent in front of our truck though.

on the way to the game, and inconsequently the best thing i heard all day -

my friend bill says to a cleveland browns fan in passing "man, you know your jersey is the same color as shit?!"

the browns fan - "Yeah! Thats right, buddy!"

he said it with conviction too.
not a snappy comeback. not a shrug off. in fact, a rather strong affirmation.

"your mom has polio!"
"yeah! that's right, buddy!"

think about any other insulting situation with that as the answer. i guarantee you that its just about as funny.

once we were actually in the game, we pulled up a slice of railing instead of heading to our seats. the people to the right of us were so drunk that they were calling every browns fan cunts and the like. it was pretty funny for a while, then it got pretty annoying. pretty much the entire first half of the game, i had these two really big black girls crowding me. they were right up on my ass, watching over my shoulder. i would have said something, but really, they were cracking me up. one slipped in between two of us, and the other on the other side of andy. the people to the right were still yelling stuff about the browns, cunts, and actually said something about them eating his twat. i turned to the one black girl and was like:

"was it me....or did he just say he had a twat?"
her-"uhm...yeah."
me-"weird"
*silence*

that was the quietest she was the whole game, and it cracked me up. after all that, the game was over at like freaking midnight. good times, good times.

this test amuses me

2005-11-16T21:56:04Z

Hard to Please

You had sex with 9 out of 21!

You are hard to please. You are highly selective of females, showing not even a marginal interest in marginal women. Of the 21 women I showed you, 7 to 9 were satisfactory,
meaning you have standards that are tighter than average. It is likely
that in your everyday life you're not much of a gawker or whistler, and
-- I'm going out on a limb here -- you don't sleep with hookers.

You are more likely to choose a woman by her face than her body.

Test results are categorized into 8 levels of pickiness, as the graph to the right shows. You are the #3, third most critical, test taker.

As an experiment, you might try the test late at night, under the influence of alcohol.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 34% on tolerance

Link: The How Low Are Your Sex Standards Test written by chicken_pot_pie on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

ended week

2005-11-08T16:43:46Z

the weekend went really well. we went bowling for the first time in a while down arsenal.
i was doing pretty badass considering we were right near the karaoke booth. fridays is karaoke night at the bowling alley by the way.

side note- theres this like 40 something year old dude that ALWAYS sings pearl jam's jeremy. every karaoke. every one that ive been to anyway. he doesnt even sing it well, or like have fun with it or anything. its really creepy that someone would sing the same song every time and not get any better at it. i really want to ask the dude what the connection is with the song. why the fixation on pearl jam? WHY DAMN YOU, WHY!? i just wanna shake the damn dude until he spits out the answer.

we were all having a good time in short. it was really funny when dana and jason went up to sing cher karaoke style. jason is kinda poofy, but he wont admit it, even though nobody cares. the kid spent like almost 500 bucks on two cher tickets for him and some dude, and buys his clothes at like...express men. yeah.

at the end of the night, our entire lane went up to sing but one song. lane thirteen went to scream bohemian rhapsody as loud as we could and it was epic. we even sang the parts that didnt come up on the teleprompter. we alternated voices by sides too.

left side (low pitch)- "WE WILL NOT LET HIM GO"
right side (high pitch)- "LET HIM GO!"

stuff like that. mama mia, mama mia let me go.

saturday was a pretty sweet day, and sunday was the lounging/steeler game day.

artmonkeyed @ 2005-10-28T14:20:00

2005-10-28T18:17:25Z

i often wonder what life would be like if i stopped trying to make other people happy.

plink

2005-10-26T15:40:50Z

allright, supposedly im supposed to update this thing upon threats of death from this irish vixen of doom.

i cant really say ive been doing a lot thats really that entertaining lately except for being sick. im watching all of my friends getting married and paying bills, and i say "where did the fun go?" i think life would be so much easier for me if i managed not to harbor so much hate for the human race.

on the up side, i think i lost some weight again. plus the sick thing has kept me indoors for the past few days, allowing me to do a lot of reading, which is nice. i never have enough time to myself to just read or do what i want, so this is indeed a change of pace.

oh yeah, my voicemail was something like "hey its ed! not the gateway fucking clipper! leave a message!"
most people get the point, but i guess some guy felt the need to call back a second time and laugh at me and call me an asshole. i called him back at 2am this morning when he was most likely sleeping or totally offguard.

"hey, its the gateway clipper. you called?"
*groggy* "oh...yeah.. do you uhm.. have tickets for the halloween bash."
"no. none at all. we're sold out"
"oh...are you sure?"
"nope, uh...cant say i am as that im not near a computer. if you call back in the morning at (real gateway clipper number) im sure someone can help you."
"oh...ok.."
"yeah, and next time, dont call the wrong number and leave messages calling peoples assholes on their voicemail. have a splendid night."
**click**

fyi, i really did think i found a way to tape these, but it only tapes incoming and not my outgoing speech. boo-zors. who else wants a 2am gateway clipper call?

so as of now, im taking suggestions for new voicemail messages. for the time being, its replaced with a short but sweet mouth-fart.

inspiration

2005-10-07T19:03:51Z

as a few of you may or may not know, my new cel phone number is really close to the gateway clipper's. this poses itself for some really awesome situations.

am i going to change my number?

no.

im going to fuck with people eventually.
if at all possible, im going to find a way to record the calls too.

just today i got a phonecall from some random number that went something like yo:

woman-hello?
me-hi!
woman-um hi...how much are reservations or tickets for the gateway clipper.
me-i dont really know, because this isnt the gateway clipper.
woman-yes it is.
me-nope, i'm pretty sure this is my personal cel phone number. this happens a good bit.
woman-so this isnt the gateway clipper?
me-nope.
woman-...oh. well i got the number from the phone book *rattles off number*
me-um...yep, im pretty sure thats my phone number and im not the gateway clipper.
woman-so this isnt the gateway clipper...
me-*sigh*
*ad nauseum*

i just really love it when someone is blatantly wrong and its just not soaking in. this leads me to the conclusion that im definitely going to start messing with people.

-possible scenarios from the top of my head-

person-hi, is this the gateway clipper?
me-why yes! yes it is!
person-id like to place a reservation *blah blah blah*
me-why would you want to do that? look...let me be honest with you... the boat, it has holes in the bottom. you know how they plug them? they kill homeless people.. look i didnt tell you anything. *click*

**(this could require some awesome detective work. ie-calling down there myself and finding out someones name)**
person-hi, is this the gateway clipper?
me-yep, sure is.
person-can i place *agflghid*
me-nope, sure cant.
person-what?!
me-sorry, but i think you're a filthy assbag.
person-let me speak to your manager!
me-nah, im bored. *click*

or the alternate after drug out verbal abuse
me-well, why dont you come down and visit me you *expletive*...my name is **blank**

person-hi, is this the gateway clipper?
me-*grunting*
person-*click*

person-hi, is this the gateway clipper?
me-hi...uh...yeah.
person-can i place reservations *blah blah*
me-oh....yeah...um...sure
person-*blah blah*
me-...uh..i have to get something off my chest? i uh....stole three cars yesterday and i think i contracted aids...twice.
or
me-i..uh.. *blurt*ILIKEMAKINGSWEATERSFROMHUMAN HAIR!

person-OMGZ!

basically i think ill sway away from the swearing insulting ones, because...its my fuggin number. if they are smart enough they can call it back repeatedly.
overall though, i think i can stand to have a lot of fun with this.

spark plug

2005-08-22T23:03:28Z

today i feel like water.
i flow, i move, i roll, i seep, i pass through.
nothing can stop me.

days like today are wonderful.
i drove home, and honestly i feel like driving more. the weather is perfect.
i leave my arm hang out the window. i stare into the distance. i listen to my music loudly. i feel the cool breeze. i absorb the warm sun. i know that fall approaches.

im numb to everything but the moment.
i have no thoughts but the present time. i am peace.
for once, i dont have any spare thoughts running through my mind, no worries. honestly, if i didnt know any better, id think someone slipped me drugs. i feel so mellow it would make most people sick.

i dont feel sad nor do i feel happy.
i feel invincible.

im staring at this computer screen, wondering what else to type...and to be honest i dont think there's much left to put here.

im going to enjoy the evening.
in fact, i think i'm going to treat myself to a cigar tonight.